Dearest Food Lady,
As previously stated, you are all right. Please allow me to list just a few things that you could do that would make you an even better food lady.
I would like an electric blanket. Our house is drafty in the winter months and since you insist that I sleep on my bed instead of yours, I think this is in order.
I would like to take a trip around the world. Traveling is very sophisticated and I yearn to be a sophisticated dog.
Please quit telling people that story about the time you took me down to the river, let me off my leash, threw that dern stick into the water, taunted me with a hearty "go boy!," and then had to save me from drowning in the water because apparently contrary to popular belief, all dogs cannot swim. That story hurts my feelings.
I would like it very much if when the next time Provider Man cooks a steak, I got more than just the bone. Where's the rest of it? That's all I'm asking.
Still trying to get past the neutering,
The Dog
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Dear Dog Writes Blog,
ReplyDeleteYour food lady and my food lady talk, which is nice because it allows us to stay in touch. As you mentioned opposable thumbs are nice and the lack thereof makes typing and using phones much more difficult. I would like to add a couple of items to you list.
1. We are not retarded or inbred, you just don't understand us.
2. Dog food sucks...I prefer cheese
3. I prefer not to share cheese with the orange and white fur ball.
4. I do not like the orange and white fur ball
5. Please quit telling people I am a coward. If you are afraid, why shouldn't I be. Strange people are strange...why should I protect you? You have opposable thumbs, remember?
Keep writing Dog Writes Blog. It's the only way I get to socialize since my owner refuses to walk me.
Sincerely,
Beautiful Black Lab