You are doomed

Dearest Massie,
It's your brother here. I regret to inform you that you are doomed.
Best wishes on the new puppy,
The Rocket Dog-just trying out a new nickname

New Sister?

My human and I have been talking about adding another dog to the family. I've been an only puppy for a long time. But I really enjoy hanging out with my cousins Sally and Max, not to mention my brother Rowdy. But do I really want a new sister? Will I have to share my sleeping space? WIll my human still love me as much? Will I have to stay outside more? Will I have an ally against the orange and white furball? What do you think gentle readers?
Confused,
Massy

Orange is not my color...

So my human used to watch a lot of Animal Cops on Animal Planet (I think she must have been allergic because it would make her sniffle and she doesn't watch it anymore), so I know what happens if a human hurts a dog. But what happens if a dog hurts a human? I need to know. I think I might be going to jail. I'm a black lab...if you put me in an orange jumpsuit, I look like a Halloween puppy and that is so not the look I'm going for. I step on my humans toes all the time and even though she complains, it doesn't really hurt her. Tonight we were playing and I accidentally batted at her head and scratched her mouth and made her bleed. Will I go to jail? She's not talking to me right now. But she didn't yell at me either. Does anyone know a lawyer?
Rowdy, is there an opening for a Halloween dog at your house? Can your human call my human and explain? What to do? And to top it all off, my human has been really nice this week. She took me to the needle man to help my eyes. Figures...just the time I start looking like myself again, I have to serve hard time. I need a harmonica...
Massy

Thanks....

It's your friendly typewriting dog, Massy. First off, here's hoping my brother Rowdy is stomach virus free. You have to watch those human, they're dirty and constantly passing around germs. Rowdy and I sometimes give our humans a bit of a hard time, but they really are great people to live with. I have been reminded of this lately. My former owner has a new dog, she's okay. Young and very obnoxious, but better than the orange and white furball. She had an eye infection and gave it to me. Next thing I knew, my eyes were itchy and all goopy. The problem with having goopy eyes, is my tongue won't reach my eyes. I couldn't get rid of all that stuff and it was really gross. Plus, I'm really pretty and wouldn't ever be caught dead with eye goop. My very sweet human has been nursing my eyes for the past two weeks. She's very nice about it, although I'm not that crazy about the water stuff she drips in my eyes (although it does feel good). So despite making me stay outside, not feeding me on schedule, and not getting rid of the orange and white fur ball, I guess she's a pretty good human.
Massy

Quick update

Hello All,
First of all, a big thanks to my muffin stealing sister for taking up some of the slack here. Umm, muffins....were they Blueberry by any chance?
I have to set the record straight. I was not in love with that Hickory nut. I simply enjoyed his smokey flavor and no kidding, that's the biggest Hickory Nut I've ever seen. I just brought it to the food lady so that she could see it in all it's nutty enormousness. Between you and me, I think she might be insane.
The human people are home here with the stomach virus. I sure hope I don't get that. I'm keeping my distance and wearing a surgical mask as well as a newspaper sailor hat the provider man made for me. I don't know, sometimes I just feel festive and like to show it.
Yappy day to you all! The writing dog is back!
Mmmmm, muffins.
Rowdy

I Must Protest

First I must apologize to Rowdy for hijacking his website. But since he hasn't written you get me...Rowdy's less literary sister.

I must protest the treatment I received tonight at the hands of my human.

1. If you leave warm muffins on the counter do not blame me if I eat them. Why would I prefer the same bland dog food to hot steaming cinnamon muffins. If you didn't want me to eat them you shouldn't have left them out.
2. It is not fair to make me stand outside in the rain as punishment. I don't make you stand in the rain when you leave me inside too long or forget to feed me until late.
3. You should know that I've contacted the local Human Society to see about pressing charges.
4. You can rectify this situation by giving me some cheese.

Massy

A Dear John?

To my human:
I am confused. Am I not a good dog? I don't pee on the floor, I don't eat your socks (often), I don't attack the orange and white furball or the gray furball (at least not without provocation), and when I escape from the backyard I don't run away. So why have you abanoned me? You have been gone a lot recently. I understand if you need a break from the furballs occasionally, (I do too, so next time you should take me with you). But do you have to go so often?
I do thank you for leaving my old human to take care of me. But he comes with another human and two little humans. They're okay, but they move very quickly. Please, lets discuss this when you return. Surely I can travel with you. You need me there to make sure you are properly covered with dog hair and saliva.

Miss you,
Massy